To Whom it May Concern

To Whom It May Concern:
I have fibromyalgia. Many people say that FMS doesn’t really exist. But it does and not just in our minds. The American Arthritis Foundation recognizes it as a legitimate illness and all of us who have it know it’s real. If it were imaginary, we couldn’t possibly all have the same major symptoms. If it were only caused by stress or depression, we could not all have the same problems. It would be impossible. I was diagnosed 21 years ago as of July 2009 and believe me, back then nobody had even heard of it and most could barely pronounce it. You could barely find any literature about it and didn’t know anyone else that had it, so it couldn’t be "mass hysteria" as I’ve heard some people say. All I know is that after being in two car wrecks within 7 months, I just kept hurting and being exhausted even six months after going through physical therapy. The place where the seat belt bruised my hip still was tender and painful over a year after the accident. My back still had severe spasms that would take my breath away and then suddenly, it began to hurt if anyone even touched my back or my arms. I felt exhausted and in pain as if I had the flu and it wouldn’t go away. Some people say that "It couldn’t possibly hurt all the time like you say it does", but it does. If you’ve ever had the flu, you know just a little bit of what it’s like to have fibromyalgia, but with the flu, you finally get better. The pain and the exhaustion finally goes away, but us? We have those feelings 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, FOREVER. And we’re told to "Get over it" or "Just put on some running shoes and get outside and we’ll feel better". Honestly! When you have the flu is that what you do?
Having Fibromyalgia is like having the "worst day of your life" from then on and what idiot would choose to even pretend to be that sick and that much in pain" just for sympathy? Do you really think there are that many of us who are that desperate for attention that we’d give up all the fun and comfort we had before, just to get attention? I used to love to travel and to go camping and to go horseback riding and swimming and water skiing and so many other things. Do you really think we’d give up fun things like that for attention?
Did your partner or spouse or friend do that before Fibromyalgia? Or did they enjoy doing things and going places and having fun? Why would they give all that up to "pretend" to be sick?
And why would you as family or friends or spouses or partners think they’d lie about something like that? We’re they liars before they got ill or were they truthful before? If they were honest people that you loved before that, why would they suddenly change?
Doesn’t anyone think before they accuse and hurt the people who are suffering from this? And what does it say about you? Are you all so heartless that you can’t see what we go through or that you can’t understand that we suffer? Sure it gets old for those around us but how do you think it is for us? Don’t you think it gets old having to live with it all the time for us? Do you have to add to the pain with distrust and show that you aren’t concerned? Is this how you’d be if we had cancer? With cancer, you’ll either be cured or you’ll die, but with Fibromyalgia, we just have to live with it and suffer it for years and years without end. There is no cure and there is no death to end it. And most of us don’t want death to end it. We just don’t want it to be a constant fight with our loved ones either. We have enough to deal with, without the pain of hearing your disdain and your distrust and your gripes about what we are suffering through and what you "think" you have to deal with. If you think it’s hard for you, try living under our skin for a month.
And don’t forget karma. What goes around, comes around. Be careful how you judge us, it could be you next.
You have no idea how brave these men and women are that have Fibromyalgia. They have to live every day in pain and exhausted. Exhaustion is not like being tired. It’s being so tired that it hurts sometimes to even try to think or do anything.
When I still worked, there were days I’d hear the alarm go off and I’d try to sit up and then when I did, I couldn’t think what to do next. I couldn’t decide to get in the shower or get dressed or anything else. I’d sit up and then lay back down. Then I’d try to get up again and I’d lay back down. My brain wouldn’t work and my body wouldn’t co-operate and I felt like I weighed a million pounds. I just couldn’t make myself get up. I wanted to get up. I needed to get up, but I couldn’t.
Sure you don’t understand it. Sure you don’t believe it. You aren’t living in our body. But it is real. It’s more real than anything we’ve ever experienced and we more than ANYONE wish it would go away.
But it doesn’t go away. It doesn’t get better. And we have to deal with that and then put up with all of you who call us liars and fakes. How charming and kind of you all.
I think the women and men who have Fibromyalgia are amazing. Just because they keep on trying to keep on in spite of the pain, exhaustion, frustration, ridicule, and distrust.
I think those of us who suffer with Fibromyalgia are the true heroes and heroines of the world. Because we don’t have super powers and yet we overcome huge obstacles every time we do anything. You have no idea just how special these people are.
I love all of you who suffer and I feel sorry for all of you who are so ignorant of human compassion and think so little of the ones you are supposed to love.
God bless you all.
Deborah Croke